I'm an actor! (Short story)

Sometimes life is strange! I just can't understand it. You feel you'll never make it anywhere, and suddenly you get an opportunity to make it big. Right there, out of nowhere that faint ray of hope enlarges into a big tunnel to your ambitions. And then when you have travelled a long way, with a lot of hope and happiness, you find out that the tunnel actually ends in a cliff! A very deep cliff! That is where I'm right now! At the edge, on the verge of falling into this abyss! All my hard work and effort are going to go down the drain. Aaaaargh! I can't believe it! How can this happen to me! And why should it happen to me at all?

In the beginning I wasn't making it. I knew that. I was nowhere in this wide ocean, and was swimming against the tide. I was a mere drop in the vast ocean. But you have to agree, I worked on it. I worked like hell on everything, right from my face, to my body language, accent, on every damn part of me, till I got it right! Till I could be called a decent actor! And I did make it big, didn't I! Weren't there papers that called me the next face of cinema?!

But now.. now that my fourth movie didn't make money, they want to blame it on me? What about the faulty script? The drab screenplay? Who the hell is that critic to blame it on me? What the hell does he know about acting, anyway??Does he know the grueling practice sessions, the acting school hardships? All he knows is to watch movies for free, happily sitting in a special couch and write the crap that he is asked to, depending on the amount he is paid by you-know-who! Critic he calls himself! Bah!

Acting! Acting is an art! I know.. I know it is the most clichéd line, but you have to accept it, that it is a fact! Acting Is an Art! Period!!

It is not just wearing the grease paint and going there and enacting the part given to you. You have to understand the soul of the character. You have to get under the skin of the character. Understand the layers of role. The emotions, the reactions.. everything. You have to keep digging into it, until.. until you just become the character! Yes! That is it! You just start living the role! If he laughs, you feel happy, if he is sad, you cry! If he has OCD, you wash your hands 5 times. If he gets hurt, it pains you. Yes, it is no longer him. He is you! An actor lives so many lives in his lifetime, people don't understand. It is difficult for others to understand. You stand on the stage with the limelight on you, hundreds of faces turned towards you, looking at each move, and then you understand what it is to be an actor!

What do people know?

And now.. now it pains. It is like some acid that is trickling down my throat. I can feel it burning every cell that it comes in contact with. My whole body is aching. It is like some poison running through my veins. I can feel its course over my body. Slowly it is spreading all over. Slowly.. very slowly. My eyes.. they are getting hazy. Eyelids are heavy.... My whole body is on fire. I cannot.. cannot take it anymore..

******

"Hey! Where is Vaibhav?"
"That weirdo? He said he was going to do a final rehearsal. Look in that room, he must be mumbling to himself.. it was a monologue."
"Ah.. there he is! Some rehearsal lying on the floor! Idiot!"

Paradise!

Green.. green.. green.. That is the only colour that i'm seeing everywhere right now. How ever did God make this place sooooooo green? Uh.. I'm being so abrupt .. I'm talking about God's own country here! Reached here on Saturday and I'm in awe right from the moment I stepped out of the train. Whoa!

Pure air. When I breathe, I feel as though I'm breathing for the first time in my life! It is so refreshing. All around the place is so flush with greenery, I can hardly see brown earth under it. And RAINS! It is like God is watering his plants. It just leaves the whole place so clean, pure, and again greener. To think that I was born in such a paradise and I'm having to stay in a concrete jungle faaar away from here, really disheartens me! :(


Everytime we were driving somewhere I felt I was going into some paradise. There were canals after every 200ms. And the water seemed to flow like some melody, softly gushing below the bridges, whispering to the nature, the secret of their beauty! It was magic! :D

There was a peace about the whole place that beheld me.There was the usual pace, but it didn't seem like anyone was as preoccupied and in a hurry. I could just go to the next room and experience solitude like I've never felt before. It was bliss.

Sigh! I want to go there again now.

Fill it!

You never give any serious thought to what is going to happen next. Take life as it comes, have fun, or at least try to, and then suddenly the whole world seems dull! There is a void. A big vacuum that just seems to grow bigger and bigger. At first, you turn away, and ignore it. But at one point it is right in your face staring at you, with it's vicious hunger to pull you also into it. Then it is left to you to decide!

You are either in it, or you don't let it grow anymore. You just fill it. Fill every inch of it!

Rant Karo Ji Rant!

How is it that some things happen only to me? Like on a Friday I leave early.. which is 7PM from office only to find that the bus to my place is late. And also that I'm the only one waiting for that bus that day, which usually is brimming with ppl by 6.55. :

What does the Rain god have against me? I really need to know. Saturday I dont wash anything and the Sun shines down on my head trying to sap out all energy out of me. Sunday I wash all clothes, including a jean and it gets cloudy even before I finish washing. Worse, if God Varuna forgets his job when I wash, the crows are already there with their stomachs full and waiting for me to dry my clothes! Aaargh! Are there any crow-repellent washing powders here?

How in the hell did my dentist find a place in Perambur, all the way down in Perambur, I mean.. so damn far in Perambur. No wait, how the hell, did I find a dentist who is soooo damn far away in Perambur? Wait.. who found out this place called Perambur? No wait.. who ever found out braces? or better dentists? or bad teeth?.. I can go on and on... (gaye kaam se.. is baar sachi mein pagal ban gayi :'( )

Tomorrow is Monday! Sigh!

Just a moment!

It is early in the morning, with a low mist hanging all around. The sun lazily peeps through the clouds, while the dew drops glisten on the leaves. Flowers are slowly opening their petals welcoming the morning. It seems as though they are stretching themselves after a restful sleep. The sky is painted in a number of hues, as the Sun starts its journey for the day. And you sit there with a steaming cup of coffee, admiring the works of nature. A moment of absolute bliss, wouldn’t you say?

There are so many such moments that we come across in our lives. Some moments just pass by like a fraction of a second, while some linger on as though they are forever. Some are happy, some are sad, some embarassing, some light, some heavy, some unforgettable, some most-forgettable. Some completely unimaginable. But our whole existense itself is a confluence of these umpteen moments that we experience unaware of its significance.

Ever thought of the moment when you first balanced yourself on the bicycle, and rode with no-worries on the empty road, without hitting any cows, with the wind in your hair, and a song on your lips? Ever thought of that moment when you were able to blow ‘the biggest’ bubble among your friends, though the bubble burst all over your face, and you were left trying to figure out your nose under the sticky gum? Think back for a second, the moment when you stayed late night just to see India win against Pakistan, and you got a nice piece of lecture from your father for shouting in the middle of the night? That moment when the grandma you helped cross the road gave you a smile that could lit up the darkest streets? That moment in school when the guy/girl you had a crush on smiled at you, inspite of that pimple on your cheek? That moment when you scored the highest in the class when you thought you were going to fail in that subject? That moment when it rained and the exams got cancelled when you were not well prepared and it was your weakest subject?… Such moments are what it is all about!

In this journey of life, we have had some of the best moments we ever had. Most of them are so magical, they’ll remain etched in our hearts forever. I’m sure each of you have had at least one such moment that took your breath away, amde your heart skip a beat, amd made you feel like you were on the top of the world! Of course we all had sad moments, but those pass by. We don’t let them linger long, and spoil the rest of the enchanting moments that are waiting for us to be e
experienced.

So live each moment like it is a gift, it is a surprise waiting to be revealed, like an expression that needs to be expressed. Live it! It is just a moment!

Philosophers of my life!

Looooong ago, so long that it was like 200 BC, Revs had tagged me with a meme, ‘Philosphers of my life meme’. This was so long back that everyone nearly forgot what it was all about, but I’m here to refresh ur memories and bring this great meme back(This also proves how good my memory is, coz I didn’t forget abt the meme, and also how I make it a point, not to disappoint ppl who tag me.. :P.. small hints are not my forte at all)

Okie, so coming to the point, who are the philosophers of my life? Umm…err.. now that is quite a good question! I’ve not completed even a quarter century in my life to say that these people have helped me and guided my throughout my life, and hence they are the real philosophers of my life, but then, heck, all that I did live till now was a life wasn’t it. So there have to be some people who taught me some things, right? So here goes the list of ppl who tried to put some substance in those grey cells up in my cranium.

My Dentist:
Now, he came in really late in my life, just about one year back, but I’ve learnt quite a number of things by visiting him once in 3-4 weeks, sometimes even twice a month. He taught me the advantages of keeping quiet, and shutting up, when he put the dratted bite-plate in my mouth. From an incessant chatter box, I turned into an apostle of silence. My understandng and respect for sign-languages increased exponentially, and I must say I could’ve won any Dumb-C competition at that period of time, coz I was just a champion in sign-languages then. So, though he incapacitated me verbally, he was the main reason behind my effective utilization of my motor controls.(Gee, I didn’t know I could make this seem so nice.. sigh!) And coming to the next wonderful aspect of my dentist is that he taught me the concept of endurance and patience. Now these are ‘The’ most important traits anyone should have. Every time I opened my mouth wide and let him hammer/pluck/whatever my teeth, knowing very well, how bady it was going to pain, I was slowly improving my patience and endurance. I’ve become soo damn patient now, that even if even Mr. Advani tries to sing ‘Aadiye kollude’ or say ‘Om-Shanti-Om’ I would just sit there quietly letting him finish, without a sound, smiling throughout the ordeal.

My Shuttle driver:
Now this guy has always awed me. Even if there is just an inch of space between two MTC buses, he has always managed to get our shuttle through it with all of us alive! Now that is quite an achivement according to me. Another interesting aspect of this man, is that he just cannot let other vehicles ride in peace if they are infront of him. He effectively utilises the horn, and the accelator and sees to it, that there is no one who can race with our shuttle. Now, that takes the competetive spirit, I tell ya. The fact that towards the end of the journey all of us inside the vehicles are all disheveled, dizzy, and goggle-eyed is no letting-down for him. I personally think he should be in some racing sport rather than waste his talents as a shuttle-driver . Maybe he could even teach Narain Karthikeyan a thing or two. Well, now tell me has anyone ever been able to teach you how precious life is, and how every moment is a great experience? You might’ve heard many sermons and lectures on this, but I tell ya, no one better than our shuttle driver can teach you this essential lesson of life. As for all those who ask me what happened, or where did you hit urself, when I come out of the shuttle, Hmph! you’d never know what it is to be on a roller-coaster shuttle, even if you went to Veega land/Queensland/Whatever-land!

EB People:
They really have taught me that life is never a bed of roses. Heck! Life is never a bed-with-a-working-fan-on-top-of-it, forget roses! Whenever I felt like just dropping onto the bed, and relieving my tired self, that had worked itself to the maximum, the EB people see to it, that the power goes of, only in our house. Now how this dratted piece of luck, works for me, I’ve no idea. But again, endurance and patience and also the art of staying awake the whole night, were precious lessons I learnt from these connoisseurs of electricity. They have also been the inspiration for learning the most-difficult art of tackling mosquitoes.Other than that one, there is this art of listening-to-barking-dogs in the silence of the night(silence, except for buzzing of mosquitoes), and deciphering what great concept of life they are discussing in the middle of the night! Such great lessons were taught only by these great people, and I’ll be forever indebted to them.

The Crow (now I’m presuming there is no hard-and-fast rule that philosophers must be humans):
Now if there is a non-human who has always held my attention other than ‘kozhi’s obviously, it is The Crow. Perserverance is one thig, but being able to make me wash all my white or light-coloured clothes at least twice, has been the main aim of this bird. Not sure if it is the same one that always manages to ruin my dresses by doing you-know-what on them, or is it a whole gang which take turns to teach me the virtue of perseverance. But they do make a good job of it. Even if it is just a chiffon dupatta that takes something like 30 mins to get dried, they manage to ruin it before I take it off the clothes-line. Maybe they just want my clothes to be extra-white, and want me on the Rin-supreme ad next, whatever, but yeah.. I’ve learnt this, that however well you wash your clothes, there is always some way you can wash them better. Really Mr. Crow, if not for you, I really wouldn’t have learnt this invaluable lesson.

Okie, there was the mock-list to make this post a little humourous, but seriously I have no particular list of people who are the philosophers of my life. Everyone I’ve come across has taught me some invaluable lesson, be it humility, courage, sensibleness or just being nice. I feel each and everyone out there has something special and so good that we can take away, and I’ve always made it a point to learn something from everyone I’ve come across. So all of them, whom I know, are Philosophers of my life!

Work! nahiiiiiiiiii !!!

I've been working like a dog for the last 2 months( ok.. guys who know me, might say.. this fool says this all the time, but hey.. this time it really is like a dog!!! Believe me.. ), and today when "the work" is getting over, and I've planned the best weeekend after some 2 - 3 months, comes the .. the worst statement.. work this weekend tooo!!!!!!!!!!!! How outrageous!! Do those supposedly high-and-mighty clients even think that it is human beings who work here??? They just like that advance or postpone the release dates with the flick of an eye, and we idiots here are the scapegoats! Hmph! Just wish I could make one of those clients face the Chennai heat for once! Or probably make him watch some Vijay's movie.. He sure won't survive that!! Ha!

One good thing about the work was that I splurged.. well.. to be more exact I splurged on books :D And so, whenever I get into those cranky moods I read one of those precious gems and I'm back to form. But hey, my account also has a limit! I can't just go on book-buying sprees like this!

One of my team mates has this cute little girl's photo on his desk, and whenever he calls me to ask a doubt I get so absorbed staring at the cute girl, I mostly miss out on the doubt. :P Well, good books and little children lift my spirits high! They are the most innocent creatures on earth, and spread so much happiness, that my best idea of heaven would be where no one is an adult! Everyone is a kid full of innocence, unblemished with any of the vices that rule this material world!

Worst part, very soon, I'm going to left with just 2 ppl whom I can ping any crap I feel like.. earlier there were four, recently one quit, and now so is the other. I used to feel so relieved talking to these ppl, but sigh! they have their own careers to take care of, not everyone is an idiot like me. Umm.. coming to think of it, I never really know if they did mind me pinging all kinds of nonsense, which is mostly ranting like now. Err.. what do i say.. __________

Well, i gotta go now, so much for ranting.. lately my blog has become such a stress-reliever space, I feel so much like a character in those soaps, where the bahu using like one galloon of glycerine!

Ciao!